“STOP ASKING ME ABOUT A JOB!”: More than a 9-5

So, I am very irritated. I’m not even gonna lie. It’s somewhat sad I’m always ready to write when I’m irritated, but hey atleast I’m writing, I guess.

If you don’t know, I graduated college in May with my B.S. in Marketing from Morgan State. So of course, life as I knew it for 4 years is over. That part of my identity will always be there, but that chapter has been completed. School served its purpose and now it’s time for me to move forward.

Now, I knew that with me no longer being a student and with the type of girl that I am, people would want to know what I am going to do next. A lot of it is natural curiosity. Everyone knows I have very big dreams. I’m not shy about it. They are wondering how it’s all going to play out for me and if I am going to do everything that I said I would. Rest assured, I am.

I knew before graduating that me not leaving college with a job set in stone would raise eyebrows about what I was doing. Even if I was writing an entire book that I told everybody about a million and one times. It wouldn’t be enough because it wasn’t tied directly to immediate income. It was just enough to satisfy the moment, but I heard the not-so-quiet whisper behind everybody’s tone saying, “but what else?”

I have tried as best as I could to not let it bother me. As it’s really not personal. And I know some people look at me as a version of what they could’ve been if they really believed in themselves and God. I know that a lot of people may just want to support me on my journey as well. However, I am also not stupid. And a lot of support, I’m learning is really just people’s nosiness hidden behind “genuine” concern. And I also know that people are looking for a chance for my parents to not have raised as us as good as they did or for me to not be everything that I am. And that’s okay, I know what comes with being around people who haven’t done half the things I have done at 22. Or people who could never walk in the confidence that I have. I get it. I would be the same way if my parents never taught me to focus on my plate and to keep my head down and work, while simultaneously keeping eyes to the Hills from which cometh my help.

But, I guess my real issue is that I really feel like I don’t owe anybody an explanation on what I have going on. Like, at all. Especially, people who have never contributed a dime— or a pamper to my education, or my upbringing. The people who have supported me, my community, know what I have going on. I share pieces of myself with people who I feel like have earned the right to know me and inquire about me. You gotta put your time in with me. I’m trying to find that healthy balance between what I am willing to share with people and what I hold close to my heart, but those that know me, know what I am doing. And everybody knows exactly what I am willing to share. If I haven’t provided an update on anything else, it’s for a reason. I share what I share, intentionally and with purpose. Half the time, my business is not y’all business. And the other half of the time, announcing stuff prematurely to me often means that I didn’t do it for the right reasons. I move when God tells me to move, I share when God clears me to. And it’s very frustrating when I feel pressured to share things that I feel like are just between me and God right now, even if it’s just natural curiosity.

And I know we are technically talking about a job right now. But, it’s not just about me having a job. It’s about me believing God for things that I know other people won’t understand. It’s me moving in a way that doesn’t make sense to anybody, but me and God and I don’t wan’t other people’s opinions and thoughts attached on what I am doing. I know how I am with others thoughts about me. I know that I don’t take people’s words lightly and so for me, it’s important for me to set boundaries on what I share, so that I can protect my faith in God, until the weight of opinions is removed from me. Because the last thing I want to do is start trying to make things happen on my own because of outside pressure that I feel.

If I just wanted a job, I could have had one by now. I didn’t go to school, make connections, and run an organization and build it from the ground up for three years to to prove to y’all that I can do stuff. It’s what I was called to do. My work with the organization was just the evidence of God’s hand on my life. He allowed it to show people parts of what I was capable of, but it was never done with the intention of just making me look good, that was just a by-product. That’s really my long way of saying that I could’ve just stayed in Baltimore and got me a good job, and stayed on my own and did my own thing. I have people I could call right now and have a job by next week, if I wanted to.

But, it’s not what I wanted. And even more importantly, it’s not what God wanted me to do. If he wanted me to be just like y’all; working and working, spending all my time creating other billionaires while I ration and make do with whatever these companies are willing to give me— then He would’ve called me to do that. But, He didn’t. And I don’t want to live like y’all, so I won’t be doing what yall do or feel pressured to move in a way that would make y’all feel comfortable and/or justify my education.

People want to push the idea that a “degree” isn’t enough. And even deeper than that they want to justify and make themselves feel comfortable with the fact that they never went out and sought higher education. But, I don’t walk around asking y’all what y’all got going on. The Bible says, “you will know them by their fruit”, so I look at the lives y’all live and deduce my conclusions from there. I wish people would do the same for me. Or atleast give me the chance to bear some fruit.

The job is coming. My aspirations have never been to work for others to be honest. Getting a job is not my end all, be all. I’m not really looking for “a job”. I am seeking an opportunity. To do what I’m passionate about with a routine set by someone other than myself (because as we all know by now my time-management isn’t the best). To give back in a way that also gives back to me. To learn and have different experiences to apply to the places God is taking me. And most importantly— to be an example that with God it’s not either or; it’s both, and. I can go corporate. I can be an entrepreneur. I can do it all. I can do anything I want to do. Because of God. And my main desire is to draw others to Him through my example. And when you’re believing God for something as big as that, it might take more than three months.

God is getting my opportunity ready, just as much as He is getting me ready. He is preparing me, pruning me, and testing me daily. In this season, I have learned to truly depend on God. I have learned to release my ego, because as much as I can say of all this, I won’t pretend that a piece of me doesn’t wish that it all happened faster for me, so I could shut everybody up. But, I’m also learning to find the gratitude in everything. For as much that has been removed, God has given me so much in this season. True peace. A real understanding of Him and myself. He’s revealed to me the areas where I need to grow (especially in regard to emotions & impulse) and He’s shown me the areas where my faith is stagnant. He’s shown me what I will need around me as I prepare for all that I am believing Him for. He’s given me space and freedom to create without constraints on my time for once. It’s what I’ve always yearned for truthfully. He has allowed me to find my voice and sharpen my perspective and discernment. He has drawn me closer to Him and is pushing me to be ready to represent Him fully, accurately and with intention & integrity, in every space that I enter. He’s taught me patience. If you read my last blog, you know I’ve been working on applying the Fruits of the Spirit to my life and I asked God for help with that. This is apart of the preparation. It’s apart of what I asked for. It doesn’t always feel good, but it’s necessary. He’s getting me ready, I feel it every day. I trust Him. But, I don’t like explaining my trust in Him to people.

Conversations often feel like a defense of my faith. And I always leave feeling like others feel that, “God ain’t really say that” or “that’s just an excuse to do nothing”. And part of it, I know, could be my insecurity in God’s voice in my life and apart of my process of truly trusting it. And when nothing around you looks like what He promised you, it’s easy to wonder if I really heard from Him at all. But, I know I did. And I’m reminded of my favorite set of scriptures of all time, James 1:2-8. And it reminds me to remain steadfast. And I know that whatever comes from this season is exactly what I needed.

But the other piece of that is that they really do feel that way. And I get it. But, I wish people would stop pushing this limited version of God on me. Good for you if you can’t trust Him for nothing, but a 9-5. But, don’t push the idea on me that that’s what I need to succeed because that’s all you could do, to make do.

I love y’all, but stop asking me if I have a job yet. And I am so transparent about aspects of my life with the world, I promise any updates worth noting, everyone will know. But, right now, I am trusting God. And I want the space and respect to do so, without the inquiries and fake concern. Plus, it’s always the people who don’t have an opportunity to give you. What difference does it make when you don’t have one door you can open for me? But, I digress.

We also have to consider how it makes people feel to only be reduced to what they do for money. Nobody is genuinely concerned with me. They’re just concerned with what I am doing and how I am showing up in the world. Some better questions to ask, if you are coming from a genuine space, would be:

“How is life for you post-grad?”

“How are you really doing?”

“Is there anything I can do to support you in your transition?”

These questions will give you more answers and insight into my life than asking me about work.

I also don’t like how people reduce college to just getting a job. College is about far more than just learning to become a good worker. It’s about becoming. College changed me. I went in as a girl and came out a woman. I gained an education. I gained perspective. I’m more well-rounded than I have ever been. And I don’t like when the success of my journey is determined by something as small as money. I don’t chase money. My parents were very, very intentional with us about teaching us that God is our source, not money. So, I move in that way. And I know how I move shakes people’s faith. I’m okay with that as long as it draws people back to Him. If I can believe Him like this, so can y’all.

And in my closing (lol), I don’t really like some of the narratives that’s attached to how I’m moving. People, love to call me lazy. And a piece of it is because they don’t know what I am doing because a lot of my work is contained right now. But let’s clear up some misconceptions, my parents are not some magic, rich stork. They don’t just give me every desire of my heart. And as much as they do for me and take care of me, there is still responsibility tied to me. Me looking as good as I do, honestly has nothing to do with them. They don’t buy me clothes. They’ve never paid for a set of nails. They haven’t paid for a set of bundles. I’ve been doing my own hair since at-least 7th grade. They don’t pay for any form of my maintenance and I don’t expect them or want them to. They taught me that if I wanted something, I have to work for it. I’ve had a job since I was 18. I’ve had 2 at the same time. I worked every semester in school, (except my freshman year) and on the summer and winter breaks I came home and worked some more. I go get what I want for myself. I handle my own business. I don’t ask nobody for nothing, that I want, but God. And I wish that because people don’t know what I have going on that they would stop assuming. People also have this thing with Pastor’s and their kids, especially people tied to legacy and lineage and they think it’s some money just laying around at my disposal or that people are just giving me money. There’s not and they don’t. And yes, my community loves on me, but not because I am tied to my parents, but because of who I am. People sow into who they believe in. They watch me serve, they know my heart, they interact with me weekly. I’m not entitled. I contribute whenever and wherever I can and they pour into me in the ways they can, in return. Every now and again, especially if I just graduated people might slip me some money, but it’s not what people think. And it’s few and far between. I am grateful for everything and never expect anything. When God puts me on somebody’s heart to bless me, I always cry because I really am so thankful people even think of me. But, nobody’s taking care of me. And if I do get something it almost always goes to giving or my blog, or something tied to it, not that what I spend my money on should matter to anybody. Especially since, once again, I ask y’all for nothing.

But anywho, I just wanted to share some thoughts about post-grad, because I know I’m not alone. And I watch some of my fellow class of 2025, start to crumble under the pressure and weight of expectation and I hate it for us, so bad. God’s plan for you, won’t look like everyone else’s. And half the people are lying about half the stuff they give God credit for anyway. Just put your head down, get to work, trust God and He will always meet you. He makes up the difference every-time. Just focus on learning how to wait. That’s more important than whatever you’re waiting for. I am living proof of it everyday.

TH

It’s so crazy to me that when I start writing I am always irritated or frustrated and as I write, I literally feel the weight just come off. But, have yall been keeping up with the book??? I encourage most adults to just get it when it’s fully released because it’s really annoying explaining how my release works to people when I have already explained it extensively. But, I’m learning to be okay with explaining a little more, especially because I know people just want to support me, but genuinely don’t know how. I have been enjoying the process of releasing my book though. Well kind of. It’s a lot more mentally taxing than I anticipated, but that’s really just more confirmation that I need to do it. A new chapter will be up soon. I’m planning to just release a few chapters back-to-back because I am technically behind schedule, especially with me taking a suprise vacation this week to the timeshare we grew up in. More on that one day, maybe. But, I hope y’all are doing good, seriously. And I hope this helped atleast one person feel less alone, in whatever transition you may be in. I got a compliment today from someone who saw my tiktoks (and subsequently checked out my blog) that they could tell I was genuine and authentic and it made my heart smile. I’m grateful atleast some people can truly see my heart (and that the content is working in some capacity, lol). But, I love y’all, for real! Thank you so much for reading and supporting me. You have NO idea, just how much it means to me. Grateful for a community that gets it.

Keep up with the journey of my first book— College is not Godly by signing up for my email list if you haven’t yet! My email group will always be the first to know all things College is not Godly and new blog updates.

I also have an advice column, where you can submit anonymous confessions, thoughts or ask for advice, called “Full Disclosure”.  Check it out if you haven’t!

Stay blessed, I will see you all again very soon, if you’re apart of my CING community!